Monday, July 21, 2008

I am empty

I woke up and felt pretty good. No pains, but I hope I've made some gains. Sure, it's been a week since I started training so I don't expect much...but it's still longer than my usual enthusiasm for excersising lasts. Now I'm feeling pretty good and confident that I will continue the program.

But then again, Finland has a way of bringing you down. Earlier today, when I just finished watching a film and was getting ready for a jog, a friend called me. He asked me for a coffee and I said why not. So we went for a coffee, and as we drank our coffee which didn't really taste all that good, we talked about things. Mainly how Finland sucks, and how we need to get the fuck out of here. And as usual I couldn't see people anywhere. Well, in the shops sure, and driving around in their shitty cars, but otherwise there were just endless streches of empty roads running through the numerous forests...the forests are god damn everywhere.

Empty is a good word, since that is how I feel. No hate, no pain, no joy, no nothing. I feel like I left something in Nice when I returned from there week ago. And with something, I mean everything. This place feels like nothing, I am just waiting that I can get out of here again, and hopefully one day I can get out of here for good.

Anyways, when we were heading back it started raining and we ended up renting a film and watching it. After that clock was about 8:30 pm, and I no longer felt like taking a jog...I felt like doing nothing really. Then I started thinking about things again, and got pissed off a bit and decided to complete the 2nd week of the 100 push ups program. Finished with a total of 74. Tomorrow I need to test how many consecutive push ups I can do, I think it'll be somewhere around 60.

Got a job interview tomorrow aswell. Not really interested in that at all, but gotta get money from somewhere. The fuckers said the job will last until september, which in a way would be good since it would be enough time to earn some money so I can get out of here for a week.

My friend ended his summer vacation yesterday, today he said he's gonna go to the doctor and say he's depressed and needs a vacation. Sounds like a plan.

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